The other day at the library, I picked up a book called The Right Words at the Right Time. It’s small essay after small essay by famous people about the words that changed their lives. I found most of them unmoving (sometimes you have to be the person in question for the words to land right), but then I came across Diane Sawyer’s piece.
She’s describing a time when she was young and aimless, and her father asked her three questions: “What is it you love? Where is the most adventurous place you could do it? And are you certain it will serve other people?”
They’re a pretty good framework for thinking about your calling.
What is it you love?
We’ve talked about this one a lot, but it really is central. Doing what you love gives you energy, it doesn’t take it. Doing what you love gives you the impetus to work and grow and learn, because it isn’t a chore.
The biggest misconception I see with “do what you love” is the tendency to associate “what you love” with a job instead of with activities. We love talking to people. We love solving problems. We love organizing things. We love helping people who have been through shit come out the other side. We love teaching. We may love a job that incorporates all the right elements, but while the job may not be transferrable, the elements always are.
Where is the most adventurous place you could do it?
We have a tendency to think small. It’s easier to think about careers in the usual way.
But what if you could join the activities and skills that light you up with a context that blows you away? What feels adventurous to you?
For some people, adventure is about travel. They’ll teach English in a foreign country, sign on to an NGO, or hightail it to Thailand because you can live there for cheap while telecommuting to a company that pays a standard US salary.
But for some people, adventure is going to be rethinking their family arrangement to have each adult work half-time so both people get to spend lots of time with the toddler. For some people, adventure is going to be picking up and moving to the place you always wanted to live, because now you can.
One of the advantages of the mostly-crappy experience of coming to a crossroads is that everything is up for grabs. If you’re going to move anyway, why not move exactly where you’d like to? If you’re going to change careers anyway, why not explore the thing you’ve always secretly wanted to?
Are you certain it will serve other people?
It’s easy to reduce “serve other people” to Doctors Without Borders or the Peace Corps or teaching. But it’s so much more than that.
The person who writes young adult novels that help teens get a grip on their lives? Serving other people.
The person who designs beautiful furniture that doesn’t cost a first-born? Serving other people.
The person who designs surreal puppet shows that expand people’s minds? Serving other people.
The real question is, how is this serving other people? It’s about articulating to yourself how this betters the world, because connection work you love with the world gives it just a little more gravity.
Three questions
So how would you answer these three questions?
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